Naïve Little Girl
by ThinksInWords
Summary: A series of drabbles about Buffy and her love life. Ends on a Spuffy note. Slightly spoils Angel S5. Smashed: Even if the fighting with him made you feel good. And the part after that made you feel even better.


Naïve little girl

Summary: A series of drabbles about Buffy and men. Ultimately Spuffy.

**/Angel(us)/**

Stupid, stupid little girl.

How naïve you were.

You never get happily ever after on the first try.

So naïve. True love at sixteen, or even at seventeen, does not exist.

So stupid. You fell in love with the ultimate forbidden fruit, and fell apart when every single objection people had mentioned came true, just to bite you in the ass.

Vampires do not change their fangs. They are monsters. There are no exceptions.

A soul is only temporary. It is gone before you know it.

Not even vampires last forever; you make sure of that.

Nothing lasts forever.

But you were too naïve to believe that.

Stupid, naïve little girl.

--

**/Parker/**

Poor naïve little girl, there you go again.

At least it was not a vampire this time.

You are not sure if that is for better or worse.

At least you could have killed a vamp.

He was just a stupid little boy, which should have worked just fine.

But it seems stupid little boys do not think naïve little girls are worth a second go.

Stupid, naïve little girl.

You should know by now that you can never trust men.

You cannot trust vamps, and you cannot trust men. So male vamps are definitely a no-no.

A female vamp joke would lighten the mood, but you do not want to.

Someone safe should come around soon.

After all, third time is a charm.

You are just naïve enough to believe that.

Stupid, silly, naïve little girl.

--

**/Spike, Something Blue/**

Horribly naïve little girl.

You were under a spell.

The most complete love you have ever known, and it was a spell.

(And therefore you think he does not count as the third.)

Sure, you could never love Spike – he is a vampire after all – but that strange feeling of finally being complete he gave you was incredibly nice.

For a while, you wanted to be Mrs. Bloody. Or whatever his last name is.

But it all went away in the end.

Because it was all just a part of Willow's spell. It was not real.

He left, and went back to hating your guts, while you still dream of blue eyes and proposals and Wind beneath my Wings. You know you should not because he is still a vampire.

You can never trust vampires. You have learned that lesson long ago.

Well, it seems so long ago, but it was not even two years ago. Not even two years ago when a vampire lost his soul, and you realized you were much too naïve.

And you mistook this faked feeling of completeness it for the real thing; for that one true love you have always dreamt about, ever since you were a little girl who read fairytales.

Stupid, naïve little girl.

--

**/Spike, Crush/**

Naïve little girl.

He told you he loves you.

You have done nothing but hurt him, and he started to love you.

But you do not believe him.

It has to be some kind of ploy from him to get to you.

But you don't really believe that.

He has stopped trying to kill you.

That still doesn't mean you can love without a soul.

Angelus couldn't do it, so why would Spike be able to?

He's just a serial killer in prison.

If the chip goes out, he'll just go Spikeus on you.

Not that naïve after all?

--

**/Riley/**

Silly, naïve little girl.

The third time is most definitely not a charm.

Men will always leave you in the end.

You still cannot trust any of them.

You should have learned that by now.

Of course, Giles and Xander you can trust, but no one else.

Men will tell you they love you, and then they will leave you.

You have seen it with Angel, and now you have seen it again.

At least Parker did not bother to lie.

You want to forget about him, because he left you for a mission.

Who leaves a girl for a the Initiative type stuff anyway?

You drove him away, he says.

You didn't love him enough, he says.

Stupid little soldier boy.

He cannot understand what he was to you.

He was safe; and your third time – which was supposed to be a charm.

Horribly naïve little girl.

--

**/Spike, Intervention/**

Silly little girl.

Glory is going to catch up with you soon.

And he nearly got himself killed to save you and Dawnie.

Stupid, stupid vampire.

Did you ever really think he'd tell?

His stupid obsession with you would never let him.

He believes he loves you, even though it is impossible.

It is not possible to love without a soul.

If he had a soul, you might actually believe him.

You let him help you though.

He can keep Dawnie safe if it all goes wrong.

Because there is no way everyone will make it through.

That's what your dreams have been telling you.

Death is your gift.

You're scared it means you're dying.

You think you can trust him with Dawn if that's true.

Even though he's a soulless vampire.

Silly little girl.

--

**/Spike, Smashed/**

Stupid little girl.

What the hell where you thinking?

As if kissing the sexy vampire was bad enough.

But having sex with a soulless vampire?

That is just all kinds of bad.

You should have learned that lesson years ago.

You're not sure if it makes it all easier or harder.

It's definitely keeping your mind off the not being dead.

But to give him his crumb and sleep with him?

You really thought you were smarter than that.

That teensy bit of attraction should have been resisted.

Even if the fighting with him made you feel good.

And the part after that made you feel even better.

But that doesn't mean it wasn't a mistake.

Stupid little girl.

--

**/Spike, Seeing Red/**

Naïve little girl.

Just when you thought he really cared.

Your bruise proves the opposite.

The look on his face was crazed, wild even.

He was too desperate to prove to you that he could love.

Would he have gone through with it if you hadn't stopped him?

A part of you says that he would have.

He's a vampire without a soul.

The chip cannot prevent him from raping you.

Another part of you says he would not have gone through with it.

But you silence that part, as you always do.

Because that part actually seems to like the vampire.

Maybe it's the whole back from the dead delusion.

Liking a vampire who cheats at kitten poker?

He cannot possibly care about you, and you cannot care about him.

That is just the way it is, and the way it will be.

You just don't like the fact he's gone now.

Naïve little girl.

--

**/Wood/**

Naïve little girl.

He was much too interested in Spike.

In the driving a stake through his heart way.

Did he ever really care about you?

You still can't trust men.

Even Giles has let you down.

And Xander let Anya down real bad.

Why do you still believe the lies they tell you?

You don't even know the answer to that question.

And why didn't you let him stake Spike?

You used to think that would end all of your problems.

He would never leave you, and it annoyed you.

Strange, since you always complain about men leaving.

Why can't they ever stay with you?

Naïve little girl.

--

**/Angel, Chosen/**

Silly little girl.

Did you really have to stir up old feelings?

You are long over him, but you keep playing.

No cookies for Angel.

He thinks you didn't know about Cordelia, but you know.

And you can't judge him for it.

You don't even know if you care.

You still kissed him.

Remember where that led to the last time?

You don't want to have to send him to hell again.

And it has nothing to do with Spike.

Silly little girl.

--

**/Spike, Post-Chosen/**

Stupid, silly, naïve little girl.

It's too late now.

And he didn't believe you anyway.

He's never coming back.

You thought he'd always be there.

You never could get rid of him.

And just when you don't want to get rid of him anymore, he is gone.

The stupid, idiotic bastard.

You believe him now, cause he got that soul.

(Just because he got that stupid soul?)

The soul that he got for you.

You still cannot believe that he did that.

Maybe he loved you without the soul, in his own way.

And you think you love him.

Or, you know you love him.

But of course it is too late for that.

You guess you still can't trust men.

They always run off at some point.

Even Spike, the one you thought would stay.

And he can never come back, like the others did once in a while.

Irony calls that he is the one you want to come back.

Stupid, silly, naïve little girl.

--

**/Post – Not Fade Away/**

Is this even possible?

He's back, oh dear Goddess, he's back.

You could not believe it until you saw him yourself.

So you went to Los Angeles.

You ignored whatever Angel said.

You cried over Fred and Wesley, because they were both so lovely.

You didn't know Gunn that well, but you're sorry.

You thought you would have liked to see Lorne again.

That Illyria thing just freaked you out, because she looked too much like Fred.

And then you saw his blue eyes.

You yelled at him for leaving you, like all men do.

He told you not even death could stop him from coming back.

You felt like you were his Princess Bride.

So you cried like the little girl you once was.

And he held you and kissed you.

And he told you he did believe you, but he wanted to save you.

So you punched him.

Then you kissed that spot to make it better.

After you told him you love him.

You think he will make an effort of staying as long as he can.

You're not stupid.

You're not silly.

You're not naïve anymore.

You're just deliriously happy

(For as long as it may last.)


End file.
